I am constantly recognizing and remembering how blessed I am in my life. So many people have it so much worse than I do. I have been blessed with the gospel, a wonderful family, and abundant opportunities to grow and learn as a person. However, I have had my experiences with trial, and through them, I believe I have grown stronger.
My first greatest accomplishment, is coping with being a a member of the church. I know that sounds strange, but let me explain. I come from a part-member family. My mother is a member of the LDS church and my father is not. My 2 younger brothers are split up in the same regard as well. My parents are happily married, and I have the best family ever! However, as the oldest child, I have always struggled with my identity. Sometimes I feel like I am not good enough to be at church because of my family situation. Other times, I feel like my dad is upset and I cannot talk to him as freely about my life and my decisions as I wish I could. This struggle is ongoing, but I consider this an accomplishment because, although one of the closest people in my life is not really in my corner, I have remained steadfast and strong. I am able to go about my business in the church and I set an example for my father. He sets an example for me as well. I am proud to be his daughter and I love him with all my heart. This struggle I believe, has made me a more loving, understanding person, and I am grateful for the lessons I learn as I continue journeying in this life with my family and with the gospel by my side.
My second greatest accomplishment , which goes hand and hand with my first, is travelling and attending a school across the country. I am well aware that I have not come the farthest to BYU-Idaho, but the distance is significant to me. My dad and most of my family do not understand my reasoning for attending a church school so far from home. I am from the South Shore of Massachusetts, born and raised. My ancestors came over on the Mayflower, and through Ellis Island. We are very much new England bred through and through. That being said, it was the most difficult thing I could do to leave behind what I know and come out west. It was a decision I had to make for myself and courageously tell my parents and act on. I know my father struggles with the distance, and it hurts me to make a decision that hurts him, but I knew that this is the place for me right now.
My third, and in my opinion greatest accomplishment so far, is overcoming depression and a serious eating disorder. Less than two years ago, I was diagnosed with clinical depression. I had been struggling with a wide range of eating disorders and I was underweight. I consider myself an intelligent person, so I could not understand why I was being so stupid. I won't get into the awful details but essential I pulled myself out of a dark hole on my own. I did not have as much support as I wish I had because those close to me, had no experience with the situation I was going through. I called a therapist, got help for my ED, and tried to rebuild my life. However, I fell into the hole once again. There came a week that I could not get out of bed. I would binge eat and then starve myself, and I could not stop crying. Over nothing! I knew I needed help. So I called my therapist and explained what was going on. She met with me right away and diagnosed me with clinical depression. I was at a state school at the time and I swiftly made the difficult decision to withdraw and move back home. It was so hard telling my parents. They are supportive and loving, but they have no idea how to deal with their crazy daughter. Moving back home and experimenting with different antidepressants took longer than I had hoped and it was a difficult year. However, I came out on top. Depression is a lifelong battle, but I have grown so much as a person and I am more skilled at managing my disease. I am proud of what I have done.
I think in all of my accomplishments I have showed a trend of courage, persistence, and diligence. I recognize that living life guided by the spirit is the only way to go for me. I do not always have the support I wish I had, but despite that, I beat on; continuing to live in what I know to be right.
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